A Change Is Coming

When I look back on the past 2 1/2 years a lot has happened to me. In hindsight I can break it down like this.

I view half of 2007 and half of 2008 as a time of being torn down to almost nothing while trying to stay alive financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually through it all. I saw the worst life had to offer but through it all I also saw some of the best it had to offer.

The remaining half of 2008 I view as a time I was able to build a new confidence and see things becoming restored to my life.

2009 was a year where I felt my life became completely enjoyable again. I was in a great relationship. I had a job that I loved. Finances were not a stress. I saw my family grow. I took many trips, experienced a lot of what life had to offer, and most of it for the first time. I was blessed. But with all those great things there was a downside. In some ways I became comfortable again. And with that comfort came many challenges...and regrettably I know I did not succeed at all of them.

I feel 2010 will be a year of change for me. The year has just started and I can feel it. Perhaps all for the good, but maybe for bad...but only at first. I'm not sure where exactly but I feel it coming. And with that change will come more challenges. I pray this year I handle challenges differently. I pray I don't allow blessings to make me too comfortable. I pray I don't allow fear to slip in. I pray I am ready.

31

Groundhog's Day has never been the same since 1978.

A Merry Christmas indeed

Surreal. Thankful. 

Those are the two words that describe this holiday season and the past months. It's been so overwhelming at times that I can't fully express it. When I think back to a year ago and remember how broken and fragile I was and how all I wanted to do was survive the year...and then to see now where I am...it just blows my mind to see how God has rebuilt and restored my life in just 12 months. I'm not sure everyone gets to see things come full circle as fast as I have and I can only thank God for all of that.

If I ever doubted my decision to quit my job and stay in TN I was reaffirmed that I made the right decision when I was asked to return to Gotee Records a few months ago. I am grateful beyond words to have a job that I love what I do especially in these turbulent times and in an industry that is struggling. Surreal was the word that popped in my head last week at The Tonight Show. I never would have thought a year ago, when I was desperately looking for a job just so I could eat, that I would be back at the job I love and at The Tonight Show with some of my best friends. Surreal indeed.

I have been blessed with a family that loves me and has supported me immensely this past year. I remember my sister in-law saying "great things in '08" at the start of the year and thinking to myself "yeah right, I'm gonna be officially divorced in '08, what's great about that?". But great things did indeed happen. I grew closer to my family. We had open and honest conversations we never had. I saw strength in my mother that I did not know existed. I watched the bond between my father and I grow. My sister in-law has become a voice of wisdom in my life. And my brother? Well, he's the best and I love him more than anything. And then I got the news that I would become an uncle. For all of that, I am thankful.

To my friends, you know who you are, thanks for your prayers, meals, hang time, and all you have done for me. I am so proud to have you in my life. Here's to another year of more Thursday mornings, 2-4-1's at Jonathan's, LOST parties, St. Augustine trips, and T-Mac pool parties.

And then there's sweet Sara. A woman of God who simply just glows. A friend of over 7 years. A woman who I find myself drawn to more and more each day. I have yet to meet somebody that knows her that doesn't say the word "amazing" to describe her. I am thankful for her patience, her giving heart, her convictions, and the full of life spirit that emanates from her. 

Despite the fact that I will turn 31 in less than 2 months I feel more alive now than I did 5-10 years ago. I have been through hell but I have come out stronger and better. I have seen the worse in life this past year and also the best of life. It has been surreal and for all the blessings I am thankful. 

Here's to the future!