Failing Forward…thanks Jay

So my friend Jay just blogged about a book he is reading called “Failing Forward”. Jay’s comments on the book make me want to go out and pick this up and start reading it right away. Here they are:

“It’s interesting how the majority of a persons battle when he or she fails is not the failure itself, but the mentality you take when moving beyond the failure. Here are some thoughts from the book.”


FAILING BACKWARD

- Blaming Others

- Repeating the Same Mistakes

- Expecting Never to Fail Again

- Expecting to Continually Fail

- Accepting Tradition Blindly

- Being Limited by Past Mistakes

- Thinking I am a Failure
- Quitting

FAILING FORWARD

- Taking Responsibility and Moving Forward

- Learning from Each Mistake

- Knowing Failure Is a Part of Progress

- Maintaining a Positive Attitude

- Challenging Outdated Assumptions

- Taking New Risks

- Believing Something Didn’t Work

- Persevering

Something I have had to deal with a lot this past year is my feelings of being a failure. I have felt at times that the reason “we” fell apart was solely my fault. I know it’s not true and after reading this it helps solidify even more that that is not true. Why? Because I know that it is not me who blaming someone else and I know I have not quit. It is really unbelievable how much blame has been put on me but I know it’s birthed from justification. And justifying our actions is not taking responsibility, it is saying “You betrayed me before I betrayed you”. I have taken responsibility for my failures and problems. I have learned from my mistakes. I know there are problems and failures in all relationships and that it is part of the process of building depth. And more importantly, I am willing to walk through those times of pain in order for the outcome to be something greater. That is failing forward and not failing backward. I have taken risks and made sacrifices in order to face my failures so that there would be growth. I have persevered by the strength and grace of the Lord. Yes I do struggle with feeling that I will continually fail but I know deep down that it was not me who gave up. I have my faced my failures and the worse shit any husband should have to face head on in order to fail forward. Someone told me through this crisis that living the Christian life is about living forward and not living the life of our past and I believe that applies to this. Meaning that we shouldn’t go back to our life before Christ and live like that again which I feel is failing backwards. I hope and pray that I am able to continue to fail forward. So thanks Jay for sharing. But I probably need to finish one of the other 5 books I am reading before I go pick this up.